I am listening to the new album of Hillsong United as I type this entry. It is a nice album. At this point I am listening at the fifth track. So far I like two songs, "Salvation Is Here" and "Tell The World". By the time I finish this entry I would've finished this album.
No, this won't be an album review for "Look To You", although that ain't a bad idea. I just felt like mentioning it here because listening to a new album is a new experience for me. And new experiences are worth writing about.
Speaking of experiences, lately I have been talking about my college life, experiences and friends. I think it's about time I write something about my high school, the most memorable phase in any one's life (like ever).
I have a "rollercoaster" educational experience. My parents wanted me to have a good start, so they enrolled me in a Catholic school, Holy Spirit Academy of Malolos. It was a nice school, and I admit that I learned things there that helped me in high school, although my experience there was something that I allowed selective amnesia to devour. I can only remember a handful of memories from the seven years that I studied there.
The grade school there was co-ed, meaning we have guys with us. The high school back then was still exclusive. I didn't want to study in that environment, all girls, no boys. I didn't want that. So I asked my parents to transfer me to another school. And the best secondary school that I could go to there is Bulacan State University.
From private to public, Catholic to secular. Did I have a hard time adjusting to the new environment? Not really. I enjoyed the new place, the new uniform, the new people. Well, it helped that a good number of us from HSAM transferred to BSU, so at least I know a few people already there.
But there were people whom I don't know yet. And I got to know them the hard way.
My mom used to teach in the high school but was promoted to teach in the college department way before I enter high school. The people there know that she is the wife of a trial court judge. And I so HATE it when people automatically assume that because both my parents are professionals that we are a rich family. The moment I stepped in there, I had classmates who were surprised that I commuted to school! News flash - I am no princess!
But I've got to understand them. Compared to most of my classmates, we would really look like were part of the alta sociedad. Although I wasn't really ostracized because of my status, I still felt that there was still this gap between us. That gap remained even after graduation day.
That degree of separation I have was not limited only to my batch mates, but to the upper classmen as well.
I had an aunt who was a member of this private organization who conducts 'exchange student' programs of sort among its members, and their relatives. Since I was the eldest grandchild and pamangkin I was the first one to avail of such privelege (I went to Malaysia). And even though we've been trying to hide my trip from the people, it still leaked out, and the whole school knew where I was. When I came back, I was welcomed with glares and whispers. They though that the school has sent me to Malaysia. They didn't know that the only thing the school did was allow me to go. The fourth year students were silently protesting that the top student in their bact should've been the one sent on that trip, that I was such a spoiled brat, that for a freshie I was so presko. It was really tough.
Have you ever experienced receiving unsigned letters from someone and telling derogatory things about you? I did. The messenger, Earl, is one batch higher than me. And I really have this sneaking suspiscion that their whole batch knows who was behind those letters. What was inside? One heavily-stapled letter said something like Ang kapal ng mukha mong sumali ng choir boses palaka ka naman! (How dare you join the choir, you sound like a frog). Another one said Ang bantot na nga ng boses mo, pati ba naman kilikili mo? (Your voice already stinks, so does your armpits).
I am a sensitive person. Even though I put up the facade that I wans't affected by all that, in reality I was. I was crying day ang night to my mom, asking why they are so mean to me, when I wasn't doing anything (deliberate or not) to hurt them in any way. In fact I was trying to be friends with them. My mom told me that they may just be envious of me, and I was internally rolling my eyes everytime I see them, thinking "Was it my fault that I was born into the family I was in now?" and "You don't know me that well to judge me."
I am not perfect person, I have a lot of flaws. But I am not deliberately placing myself on the dark side. A friend of mine, BJ, told us in one of his bible study teachings that the Chritian life is not difficult, it is impossible. Back in those days I haven't known and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I was bitter, I held grudges.
My initial reaction was to leave the place and run away from everything. My transfer from HSAM to BSU was partly that. Run away and hide. But my parents know better. I thank God for them. They told me that if I run away from every bad thing that comes my way, I will never know how to deal with them.
Same with Christian life. If we just run away from the world, how owuld we know how to deal with it? I really didn't like The Purpose Driven Life much, but I do remember one principle that has struck me: the principle of insulation, not isolation. No man is an island, they say. It is possible for Christians to be in the world, live in it, but not to be consumed by it.
I remember Christ said "Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile." (Mark 7:14-15) One may read the Word of God everyday, but if what comes out of his mouth does not glorify Him, it as good as not reading the Word at all.
Quoting the song "What The World Can Never Take," I've got a Saviour and He's living in me... and the world will never take you away. Jesus lives in me, and He'll stay there. Nothing will separate me from my King.
Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 38-39)
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
The Core
Lani and I met up in Malcolm Hall in UP last Saturday coz I needed to inquire about law school. Afterwards we had lunch in Taco Bell, then strolled a bit after around Gateway, since we'll meet up with the xblock at 3 PM pa in Greenbelt 3. After that we went back to Gateway and had dinner in Burgoo. It was just sad that Zy wasn't able to join us, again, this time because of family matters (the first time was because of work).
But I am happy that my sisters and I are having weekly lunches every Saturday. Well, we try to make it a point to meet up every Saturday. We get to talk about what happened to each other's week and get updated with each other's lives, since we rarely see each other during the week (except for Lani and Zy, who get to attend GenRev Ateneo every Wednesdays, 430-6 PM, SOM 210-- shameless plugging, spread the word). I am looking forward to each Saturday for I know that I would spend another fantastic time with my sisters.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It all started in 2002. Ateneo had just won the UAAP championship. Kimmy, another one of our sisters, invited us to attend a bible study in school the week after the championship game. It was conducted by students who go to Christ's Commission Fellowship (CCF). During that time it was Paul Tanchi (yes, you've read it right) who was leading the study. And from there we started to attend BS (that's bible study folks) regularly in school.
After every teaching, the group divides itself into "breakout groups". Our group was led by Atid and Bobbi. Eventually they wanted to follow up on us and so divided our breakout group into cell groups: Kimmy and Zy went to Atid, Lani and I to Bobbi.
Before I continue, I would like to say that that year was a pivotal year for Lani and me. It was during those times that we consider our 'worst'. No, we don't have vices, but we're not exactly angels either. That invitation of Kimmy was what we needed at the time (remember my earlier entry, about my rollercoaster spiritual life? This was one of the lows).
And so every week Bobbi, Lani and I meet every Thursday lunch time in the 2nd floor of Gonzaga, in front of the pub room. There we will eat lunch together and share what happened to our week. It was also there where we were introduced to the concept of "accountability". It took us a while before we get to trust Bobbi with our most personal details. Lani was not used to divulging personal stuff to other people, and I am not really comfortable sharing either (despite being exposed to such). But after weeks and months of fellowship and spiritual growth, we've gone to trust Bobbi, gradually, with our personal details: our crushes' identities first, then our kilig moments, to our frustrations in school and orgs, our frustrations with other people, even our family problems. Bobbi also came to trust us with her personal stuff, and our friendship grew deeper. We believed that what we three have talked about will remain among the three of us. We even felt that we could trust Bobbi with our lives.
When Bobbi graduated already, Lani and I were transferred to Atid's group, together with Zy and Kimmy. It was another round of trust-building, but it did helped that sometimes our groups would meet over lunch and just bond. Plus the fact that Atid is Bobbi's best friend. I must admit, it really felt nice to be sincerely welcomed into such a friendship. From two, it grew to six. We could text each other asking for prayer intentions without hesitating, knowing that the other would indeed pray for us. And so our cell group leader was Atid now. During that time the park between Dela Costa and Social Science buildings are finished, and so we would talk in the benches there, have our weekly bonding sessions. Then after some time, our cell group developed to a discipleship group. It means that we are being trained to be cell group leaders, just like Bobbi and Atid were to us in the beginning. In CCF they call it D-12 (it's "Discipleship 12" from Jesus' 12 disciples, not Eminem’s band oki?). The friendship grew deeper, the trust grew stronger, our bond more, well, bonded.
Then Atid graduated. They assigned us to a new cell group leader, but it was just not the same. We aren't as comfortable sharing with her as with Atid and Bobbi. She is a really nice girl, and we like her, but it's just not the same. It was also during these times that we weren't able to go to BS regularly, mainly due to thesis work and other academic requirements. And then GenRev Ateneo came. Then Elim Singles (in a span of a few months we were promoted from youth to singles...hehehe I think we’re one of the youngest singles there now). After a few months still, we are attending Team Revival (for me, again).
-*-*-*-*-*-
Now how were we introduced to GenRev and Elim? It started one quiet Black Saturday 2 years ago. I was channel surfing when I came upon this show in channel 7. It was the GenRev TV Special. It got my attention and so I watched. Unfortunately I caught the final part of the show, and there they promoted the GenRev website. So I went there and registered and joined the message boards. I didn't know anyone there, but there was someone who seems familiar to me. After having a confirmation that it was Roni, a batch mate and another DS student, I was thrilled. She introduced me to the people in the boards. When July came that's when the Campus Catalysts project started in Ateneo. I wanted to join, so I messaged them. We met up for our first meeting in Gesù, then I went to GenRev Night, and then Revival Night (I forgot then that GenRev was the band that performed in the mini-concert that happened early 2003, sponsored by VCF, another Christian church). I was always inviting Lani to go with me to GenRev Night but she wasn't allowed yet at that time. After the first sem I kinda laid low with Elim activities, until more than a year later.
We had a project for Theo131 that required us to talk to a Catholic couple who are involved in ministry, and so we interviewed Tita Edna Garcia. That was Lani's first intro to Elim. We were supposed to go to a Revival Night, but we had transpo problems. For our thesis I suggested that we use the GenRev band as our study, since our topic is about Christian rock music. So we interviewed Kiddo, and Kuya Moses, the GenRev coach. Second sem, GenRev came to Ateneo, in December. Friday of the same week was GenRev Night, and surprisingly, Lani was allowed to go and sleep over Elay's pad.
Zy, meantime, was introduced earlier than Lani. Roni have been inviting her to attend GenRev Night, and one Friday we both went there. Then when GenRev Night returned to home base (coz it was transferred to the province of Alabang for a time, for the south people), we got to attend again, together with Kimmy, Yammy, my roommate, and Roni.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It was now three years since God has put us all in each others' lives. I completely trust them with everything. They've known my deepest darkest secrets, and I've known theirs also. We've shared the most fun-filled, laughter-filled times, and we've shared the saddest ones as well. We’re more than just a barkada; we’re soul sisters.
I praise and thank God for the gift of friendship. I thank Him for giving me these two wonderful people who have been there for me during the most crucial point of my spiritual walk. I also thank Him for Atid and Bobbi for planting the seed. I also thank Him for using Kimmy. I also thank Him for Roni, for using her in introducing us to GenRev. I thank Him for placing the right people in my life at the right place, in the right time.
Of course, all three of us acknowledge that the puno't dulo of all these is God. He is the reason why we got together in the first place, and He is at the core of this friendship. Like what Christ said, "for where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20).
But I am happy that my sisters and I are having weekly lunches every Saturday. Well, we try to make it a point to meet up every Saturday. We get to talk about what happened to each other's week and get updated with each other's lives, since we rarely see each other during the week (except for Lani and Zy, who get to attend GenRev Ateneo every Wednesdays, 430-6 PM, SOM 210-- shameless plugging, spread the word). I am looking forward to each Saturday for I know that I would spend another fantastic time with my sisters.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It all started in 2002. Ateneo had just won the UAAP championship. Kimmy, another one of our sisters, invited us to attend a bible study in school the week after the championship game. It was conducted by students who go to Christ's Commission Fellowship (CCF). During that time it was Paul Tanchi (yes, you've read it right) who was leading the study. And from there we started to attend BS (that's bible study folks) regularly in school.
After every teaching, the group divides itself into "breakout groups". Our group was led by Atid and Bobbi. Eventually they wanted to follow up on us and so divided our breakout group into cell groups: Kimmy and Zy went to Atid, Lani and I to Bobbi.
Before I continue, I would like to say that that year was a pivotal year for Lani and me. It was during those times that we consider our 'worst'. No, we don't have vices, but we're not exactly angels either. That invitation of Kimmy was what we needed at the time (remember my earlier entry, about my rollercoaster spiritual life? This was one of the lows).
And so every week Bobbi, Lani and I meet every Thursday lunch time in the 2nd floor of Gonzaga, in front of the pub room. There we will eat lunch together and share what happened to our week. It was also there where we were introduced to the concept of "accountability". It took us a while before we get to trust Bobbi with our most personal details. Lani was not used to divulging personal stuff to other people, and I am not really comfortable sharing either (despite being exposed to such). But after weeks and months of fellowship and spiritual growth, we've gone to trust Bobbi, gradually, with our personal details: our crushes' identities first, then our kilig moments, to our frustrations in school and orgs, our frustrations with other people, even our family problems. Bobbi also came to trust us with her personal stuff, and our friendship grew deeper. We believed that what we three have talked about will remain among the three of us. We even felt that we could trust Bobbi with our lives.
When Bobbi graduated already, Lani and I were transferred to Atid's group, together with Zy and Kimmy. It was another round of trust-building, but it did helped that sometimes our groups would meet over lunch and just bond. Plus the fact that Atid is Bobbi's best friend. I must admit, it really felt nice to be sincerely welcomed into such a friendship. From two, it grew to six. We could text each other asking for prayer intentions without hesitating, knowing that the other would indeed pray for us. And so our cell group leader was Atid now. During that time the park between Dela Costa and Social Science buildings are finished, and so we would talk in the benches there, have our weekly bonding sessions. Then after some time, our cell group developed to a discipleship group. It means that we are being trained to be cell group leaders, just like Bobbi and Atid were to us in the beginning. In CCF they call it D-12 (it's "Discipleship 12" from Jesus' 12 disciples, not Eminem’s band oki?). The friendship grew deeper, the trust grew stronger, our bond more, well, bonded.
Then Atid graduated. They assigned us to a new cell group leader, but it was just not the same. We aren't as comfortable sharing with her as with Atid and Bobbi. She is a really nice girl, and we like her, but it's just not the same. It was also during these times that we weren't able to go to BS regularly, mainly due to thesis work and other academic requirements. And then GenRev Ateneo came. Then Elim Singles (in a span of a few months we were promoted from youth to singles...hehehe I think we’re one of the youngest singles there now). After a few months still, we are attending Team Revival (for me, again).
-*-*-*-*-*-
Now how were we introduced to GenRev and Elim? It started one quiet Black Saturday 2 years ago. I was channel surfing when I came upon this show in channel 7. It was the GenRev TV Special. It got my attention and so I watched. Unfortunately I caught the final part of the show, and there they promoted the GenRev website. So I went there and registered and joined the message boards. I didn't know anyone there, but there was someone who seems familiar to me. After having a confirmation that it was Roni, a batch mate and another DS student, I was thrilled. She introduced me to the people in the boards. When July came that's when the Campus Catalysts project started in Ateneo. I wanted to join, so I messaged them. We met up for our first meeting in Gesù, then I went to GenRev Night, and then Revival Night (I forgot then that GenRev was the band that performed in the mini-concert that happened early 2003, sponsored by VCF, another Christian church). I was always inviting Lani to go with me to GenRev Night but she wasn't allowed yet at that time. After the first sem I kinda laid low with Elim activities, until more than a year later.
We had a project for Theo131 that required us to talk to a Catholic couple who are involved in ministry, and so we interviewed Tita Edna Garcia. That was Lani's first intro to Elim. We were supposed to go to a Revival Night, but we had transpo problems. For our thesis I suggested that we use the GenRev band as our study, since our topic is about Christian rock music. So we interviewed Kiddo, and Kuya Moses, the GenRev coach. Second sem, GenRev came to Ateneo, in December. Friday of the same week was GenRev Night, and surprisingly, Lani was allowed to go and sleep over Elay's pad.
Zy, meantime, was introduced earlier than Lani. Roni have been inviting her to attend GenRev Night, and one Friday we both went there. Then when GenRev Night returned to home base (coz it was transferred to the province of Alabang for a time, for the south people), we got to attend again, together with Kimmy, Yammy, my roommate, and Roni.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It was now three years since God has put us all in each others' lives. I completely trust them with everything. They've known my deepest darkest secrets, and I've known theirs also. We've shared the most fun-filled, laughter-filled times, and we've shared the saddest ones as well. We’re more than just a barkada; we’re soul sisters.
I praise and thank God for the gift of friendship. I thank Him for giving me these two wonderful people who have been there for me during the most crucial point of my spiritual walk. I also thank Him for Atid and Bobbi for planting the seed. I also thank Him for using Kimmy. I also thank Him for Roni, for using her in introducing us to GenRev. I thank Him for placing the right people in my life at the right place, in the right time.
Of course, all three of us acknowledge that the puno't dulo of all these is God. He is the reason why we got together in the first place, and He is at the core of this friendship. Like what Christ said, "for where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20).
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
In Idle Times
Today will be the fifth day that we didn't have broadband internet in the office. So many people have come to diagnose the problem and fix it, but to no avail. We thought the PLDT line man would be our savior from our disconnection to the world, but alas, he wasn't the one.
And so we're left with a lot of idle time in our hands. We can't get to be as productive as we wanted to be, for most of our work depends on the internet (files coming from advertisers wanting to have advertorials done, articles and photos from contributors, discussing articles with them thru YM).
I had expected that by the time I start with my work as the sole editorial assistant for the mag I'm working for I'll be swept with so much work, I'll look like the girl-who-looks-like-a manang in a Stresstabs ad. Not that I'm praying for that to happen. It'd just that I would rather be doing something than just stare at the computer screen the whole day.
That's where I began to appreciate the so-called "menial tasks": answering the phone and taking messages fro other people, wrapping up gifts for FGD, setting up appoinments for my boss. For me those are the job for an office secretary, and I am not one - I'm an editorial assistant! *nose up in the air*
Well, that's just a fancy name. May sound nice but the job ain't glamorous. And now that there isn't any pressing jobs yet for the magazine, I ended up being other people's assistants - but not forced of course.
There came a time that I was begging people to give me something to do: I cleaned up my boss' desk, type whatever the other mag needs typing, anything to get my ass moving.It came to a point last Friday when I didn't want to go to work anymore, because I know it would be the same old boring routine of doing a little bit and then doing nothing.
It's already 4:02 P.M. and I'm already down to typing this journal entry (if you need to know, I drafted this first in Notepad, and when the dial-upped laptop was free I snuck to post it... hehe).
Is there a point to all these? Of course! I'm not ranting here. In fact I wanted to show you how much I appreciate doing the small thing, being the bit player. At first I thought I would be in a very glamorous position, where people look for me in the office, and be given invites to press cons and movie premieres, meet people in various parties and cocktails, rub elbows with the top people in the industry. I'm already one month into the job, and the only exposure I had was one meeting with Haribon. That's it.
I suddenly remembred my friend Zyza's plight in Greenpeace, when she was still connected with the organization. She was downtrodden that her job is way too far from what she really wanted, how her job ranks so low, compared to the one she wanted. And Roni told her that "Remember, Jesus took a towel and washed the apostles' feet, too." And what Lucille, a friend from Elim Singles, said about being a "servant of the servants".
And I got convicted. And it was there that I started to appreciate the little things. Coz I believe that God placed me here for a reason. And that above everyone else, He's the One I'm serving.
When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do' - Luke 17:10
And so we're left with a lot of idle time in our hands. We can't get to be as productive as we wanted to be, for most of our work depends on the internet (files coming from advertisers wanting to have advertorials done, articles and photos from contributors, discussing articles with them thru YM).
I had expected that by the time I start with my work as the sole editorial assistant for the mag I'm working for I'll be swept with so much work, I'll look like the girl-who-looks-like-a manang in a Stresstabs ad. Not that I'm praying for that to happen. It'd just that I would rather be doing something than just stare at the computer screen the whole day.
That's where I began to appreciate the so-called "menial tasks": answering the phone and taking messages fro other people, wrapping up gifts for FGD, setting up appoinments for my boss. For me those are the job for an office secretary, and I am not one - I'm an editorial assistant! *nose up in the air*
Well, that's just a fancy name. May sound nice but the job ain't glamorous. And now that there isn't any pressing jobs yet for the magazine, I ended up being other people's assistants - but not forced of course.
There came a time that I was begging people to give me something to do: I cleaned up my boss' desk, type whatever the other mag needs typing, anything to get my ass moving.It came to a point last Friday when I didn't want to go to work anymore, because I know it would be the same old boring routine of doing a little bit and then doing nothing.
It's already 4:02 P.M. and I'm already down to typing this journal entry (if you need to know, I drafted this first in Notepad, and when the dial-upped laptop was free I snuck to post it... hehe).
Is there a point to all these? Of course! I'm not ranting here. In fact I wanted to show you how much I appreciate doing the small thing, being the bit player. At first I thought I would be in a very glamorous position, where people look for me in the office, and be given invites to press cons and movie premieres, meet people in various parties and cocktails, rub elbows with the top people in the industry. I'm already one month into the job, and the only exposure I had was one meeting with Haribon. That's it.
I suddenly remembred my friend Zyza's plight in Greenpeace, when she was still connected with the organization. She was downtrodden that her job is way too far from what she really wanted, how her job ranks so low, compared to the one she wanted. And Roni told her that "Remember, Jesus took a towel and washed the apostles' feet, too." And what Lucille, a friend from Elim Singles, said about being a "servant of the servants".
And I got convicted. And it was there that I started to appreciate the little things. Coz I believe that God placed me here for a reason. And that above everyone else, He's the One I'm serving.
When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do' - Luke 17:10
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