Hosea's Wife

I have made a commitment
To be Yours and Yours alone
To bask in Your love
And be by Your side

I was Your bride.

But the lure of the flesh caught me
And follow it I did
My commitment to You I broke
In Your face I defiled it

I broke Your trust.

Now I return to You
Repentant and ashamed
Begging for Your forgiveness
Begging for Your mercy

I love You
I know You know I do
I want to return to Your love
And be by Your side

Never will I follow my flesh
Never will I leave You again
I will be here for You, in Your service

I am Your bride, and will always be

I am Yours, now and forever…

EDIT (06.07.07)This used to be titled "Repentant", but I feel that the new one is more apt for this

Caught in the Whirlwind

Things happened so fast. Just when I thought nothing's happening (or nothing will EVER happen) the Lord enters and makes them happen.

This is one happening life. Can't wait for more.

Work in Progress

Things I need to learn:

1. Don't bite more than you can chew
2. If you're not sure, wait 'till you're called
3. Don't be an assumptionista
4. Don't be a Martha
5. Escapism is NOT the way to go

Hurtful Past, Hopeful Future

To see is to believe, right?

That's my principle. I need tangible proof before I believe its truth (one lesson I learned after being duped by a school bus mate when I was in eight). So unless I see something that will prove something’s (or someone’s) existence, I won’t take another’s word for it.

This kind of insecurity has brought me much trouble in my 21 years, 2 months and 21 days of living. Because it’s hard for me to believe, I tend to try things out on my own, so I can see for myself its factuality. This leads me to do things: stupid things, dangerous things, scary things. I really must have a mission here on earth for, despite all the brashness and foolishness, I am still alive.

It wasn’t when I became a young adult that I came to understand and appreciate, in a way, the phrase “leap of faith” (thank you Theo and Philo!). Good ol’ Wikipedia defines it as “the act of believing in something without, or in spite of, available empirical evidence”. Oh well.

I guess it boils down to my lack of trust. I don’t trust easily ‘coz my trust has been betrayed before. In return I’ve also betrayed the trust of so many people in my life; some have forgiven me, some have not. But I have trust issues. It’s hard for me to trust ‘coz I don’t want to get hurt again.

But then again, Jesus has also been betrayed, by the people he most loved no less. We have something in common. He has been hurt; so have I. He is God and He didn’t complain; I am just a mere mortal.

The fear of hurt made me distance myself from people, even and especially from those I love. And because I am far away from them I don’t see them as clearly as I need to. Thus I trust them less. Accordingly, my need for more proof.

But as a Christian it shouldn’t be my case. The fact that I believe in Someone, and entrust my life to Him, whom I have NEVER met in person says a lot. I have taken a huge leap. And now this Someone is telling me to entrust other things to Him, things that seems to good to be true.

I know I don’t deserve all the blessing I have received and am receiving. Nor do I deserve to receive more.

But I DO receive the blessings, and He promised that I will receive more in the future. Things so big and grand they seem surreal. All I need to do is to take that leap of faith and abangan na lang ang susunod na kabanata. Just as Abraham believed he will be the “father of all nations”, just as David believed he will defeat Goliath, just as Job believed things will be alright.