Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Of Cows and Men
I still can't fathom how intelligent people can sometimes stoop so low and speak the language of the cows...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
A Memorable Week
There are some days that you want to erase in your memory, there are just some that you want to go back to forever. The last week may have been booboo-filled, among others, but it's part of why I want to immortalize them in this blog:
MONDAY
After so long, Zy was able to attend KG. And since she was gone for so long, she made up for it with a proportionally lengthy sharing :p (love 'ya dichie!) The rest of the day was ok, with drafts finally coming in and the pressure of finishing everything by Friday. Oh yeah, I also discovered the wonders of a warm, fluffy shawl that my grandma gave my mom, which she gave me in return. I may have looked like a lola then, but I didn't care - it was warm and comfy and I love it!
It was also here that I finalized the teamn that will join the Tribu A-Mall-Zing race that Saturday. Team A&F was composed of Crystal Rebucas, Retzel Orquiza and me :)
TUESDAY
Inja and I went to a meeting for the sponsors and participants of the Chris Sports event in Megamall. Us, plus Sir Andy, originally planned to go wall climbing that afternoon to prepare me for my very first adventure race. Sadly, the meeting went a bit overtime, plus I was needed back in the office for there were a lot of production questions that only I can answer. Plus the proofs also came flooding in so I was forced to stay overtime in the office and miss TR.
WEDNESDAY
Lunch time, Marvi and I went to Katipunan coz I need to meet up with Marielle to give her her writer's cheques plus compli mags. We also did some minor marketing work by leaving mag copies in Starbucks and Seattle's Best. How I missed Katipunan! When we got back I once again faced the pile of proofs on my desk; my beloved editor didn't go to the office that day for he had a slew of meetings.
That night, Lyka, Yukee and I went to Gweilo's in Eastwood City to watch Naima's gig. My friends Mikel and Pipes were there with their other friends when we got in the bar. The last time I went to a bar was back in college. I missed my Tapika days with Yam and Kimmy and the others... That day was full of college retrospects. Naima was the first band to play, and the three of us got to see their whole set (although I was a bit sad that they didn't perform "Di Bale Na Nga" :p) It was sooo good to finally see Mikel and Pipes after sooo long. I admit, I missed these guys. And I am happy that after everything, we're still friends. Hey, please support them in their gigs! The band's NAIMA, hokie? :)
Oh, Lyka also had a surprise birthday plan for Yukee, the final version of which was to wait for Yukee to get home at around 2 in the morning (coz he had to have his clearance signed where he used to work). We got home from Gweilo's at around past midnight so we had more than two hours to wait, which was worth it for Yukee appreciated what we did.
Another thing, this was the last day of my contract at work! Time passed by so quickly that I didn't realize that I was already in the magazine for six months! Hehe... I think I'm on regular status already...
Wait, this is Thursday morning already, I better move on...
THURSDAY
We slept at around three in themorning, but I had to wake up at 5:30 coz I have to meet up with Sir Andy, Aaron the photog and Patrick, Andy's friend, for a photoshoot in the hills of Antipolo. Each of us had our roles to play; mine was to drive the Nissan Frontier T3 (haha! product placement!) that Sir borrowed. The last time I drove was two years ago, and it was just a sedan.
Up in the hills of Antipolo, I was 'driving' the truck while Aaron was beside me or behind me taking photos of Andy and Patrick. I am sooo grateful that Aaron was a really patient person, for he also acted as my driving instructor that day. As we were approching the really steep part of the hill, I was shifting between primera and segunda (dunno how to call them in English); when we parked somewhere to wait for the two bikers, the rear side of the truck was smoking, and there was a strong smell of burnt rubber. Apparently I overworked the clutch mechanism of the vehicle. Also I had a lot of stalls and dying engine moments, for I have a really hard time making timpla the clutch and the gas.
Bottomline is I survived the day, driving uphill with only less than three hours of sleep. And even though I almost hit a trike full of students when I overtook it, downhill, I got to bring us to where we needed to go. To add insult to the injury, the three guys with me were making fun of my "driving," with my boss imitating how I "drove." Well, I wasn't insulted nor offended; I admit it was really horrible! I am very grateful to the Lord that I am still here, being able to recount that experience.
FRIDAY
After a horrific experience, I decided that I will leave the office early so I can go have at least a 30-minute tutorial for ice skating, since it was one of the tasks. But the proofs prevented me from doing so, so I just lifted it all up to Him.
Since Inja took a birthday leave the day before (it was her birthday also), she and Sir James treated us to lunch this day. It was good, with yummy Pansit Malabon and Lechon Manok and Sansrival ice cream :)
In the afternoon Sir Andy discussed with me his evaluation of me for my 6-month stay so far in the office. I was surprised that he rated me higher than I rated myself, but of course he still pointed out my booboos. Even though it hurts, I accepeted all the observations and his suggestions, for it's all for my betterment din naman. It's always been said that "those who love corrections are blessed" or something to that effect. And I do, coz it shows me the areas that I need to improve on. It also helped that Sir Andy did that in the most "caring" way, na hindi offensive. I am really grateful and blessed to have him for my superior. I couldn't ask for a better boss (Naks naman!)
That night was GenRev Night. I met up with the SS in ECR na coz I needed to finish some more stuff in the office. When I got there there weren't mush people yet but praise God they slowly trickled in and the night was great! Remember the shiny-five-peso-bet I did in one of my previous entries? Well, let's just say I owe Lani four shiny 5-peso coins :p
SATURDAY
Since Lani and Zy slept over the apartment again after GenRev Night, we slept in the early morning once again. Which was not good for this day was the day of my very first adventure race. So sleeping for only three hours (again!) I went to McDo St. Francis to meet up with Crystal and Retzel. I am really grateful that at first meeting we gelled really fast; it helped us during the race. It also helped that Retzel's friends with the organizers, mas fun yung experience.
My failure to train for wallclimbing and ice skating got back to me; the two CPs where those are the challenges required all the team members to do the task. And, unfortunately, I had to skate and wall climb. My ass was really sore the whole weekend for I fell on the ice innumerable times! It was so embarrasing as I was doing those stupid acrobatic stunts just trying to balance myself on the ice that the kids while the kids watching me were gliding gracefully. It was sweet though as they cheer "Go Ate, you can do it," in their adorable high-pitched voices and giving me tips on how to stand up.
Same with wallclimbing. Since my upper body was stronger than my lower body (which is a bad thing) my body gave up just when I was nearing the last stone. Although I was surprised how my legs were able to puch me up to that point I still had to scream and squeal as I try to reach that friggin' last stone. I was also grateful that Crystal and Retzel was ever so patient during those two challenges, for I believe I was the cause of our delay. They were there cheering me to go on. It was also nice of Pe, one of the organizers, to go up the wall and cheered me on from the top. Haha!
After the race Team A&F placed 5th overall. Not bad for a team composed of a pro (Retzel) and well-prepared newbie (Crystal) and a newbie klutz (me). The night before a friend taught about reaching, and overcoming, thresholds. And I believe I overcame mine big time, the physical part that is. The whole afternoon was non-stop running and strategizing, falling flat on my butt, then run again, but it was really fun! I also loved my teammates, and we wish that we get to join another race as a team again :)
SUNDAY
With my body sore and hurting, I once again had to wake up early to take my Law Aptitude Exams (LAE) in UP. I was really nervous a bit coz I haven't studied AT ALL for this, when most others spend a lot in LAE review classes.
So inside Malcolm Theatre I sat and took the exam, which was easier than what I had expected. But I give FULL CREDIT to the Holy Spirit for my confidence in taking the exam. I would have not done it on my own; it was all God's grace, as with all of what I "achieved" this week. It was all Him, and I praise and thank the Lord for his Wisdom and Grace.
After the exam I met up with my family in SM North for our annual Christmas shopping. But since we need to go back before four (and I arrived there at almost one), I just helped my brother do his shopping (who was also waiting for me to, well, do the exact thing). But I was happy with the items my brother and I were able to buy for him; he sooo needed an image change :) After shopping, we heard mass in Barasoian Church, to the delight of Monsignor Flint, and had dinner in our favorite place.
MONDAY
Nothing much happened the whole day, although around 2 PM there was a brownout. We called up Meralco every now and then to ask for the status of the repairwork, and shut us up by explaining the status with whatever jargons the guy on the other end can think of. Anyway, the highlight was a few hours later, when, at 6:30 in the evening there were still no electricity. So we jsut decided to dine out, for it's such a hassle to prepare dinner in the dark. So my dad, my brother and I dressed up while we wait for my mom (who decided to go to the salon for she was bored :p). Just when the three of us were dressed already, the electricity came back. But we were set to eat outside. When the lights were turned, all I saw was orange: while fumbling for something to wear in the dark we didn't notice that all three of us pulled out ORANGE SHIRTS! All we could do was laugh so hard, and my mom was laughing hard as well when she arrived and saw us; thank goodness she was wearing brown, but we were urging her to join us and be our "ka-kosa" :p My dad's explanation for our get-up: it's our way of thanking Meralco for bringing back the electricity in our town :D
So that's my week folks. I'm sorry for the lengthy entry, for so much happened; I only tried to put here the highlights. But of course, if you had an experience such as mine, wouldn't you want to remember it always? Even if it's just for laughs? :D
MONDAY
After so long, Zy was able to attend KG. And since she was gone for so long, she made up for it with a proportionally lengthy sharing :p (love 'ya dichie!) The rest of the day was ok, with drafts finally coming in and the pressure of finishing everything by Friday. Oh yeah, I also discovered the wonders of a warm, fluffy shawl that my grandma gave my mom, which she gave me in return. I may have looked like a lola then, but I didn't care - it was warm and comfy and I love it!
It was also here that I finalized the teamn that will join the Tribu A-Mall-Zing race that Saturday. Team A&F was composed of Crystal Rebucas, Retzel Orquiza and me :)
TUESDAY
Inja and I went to a meeting for the sponsors and participants of the Chris Sports event in Megamall. Us, plus Sir Andy, originally planned to go wall climbing that afternoon to prepare me for my very first adventure race. Sadly, the meeting went a bit overtime, plus I was needed back in the office for there were a lot of production questions that only I can answer. Plus the proofs also came flooding in so I was forced to stay overtime in the office and miss TR.
WEDNESDAY
Lunch time, Marvi and I went to Katipunan coz I need to meet up with Marielle to give her her writer's cheques plus compli mags. We also did some minor marketing work by leaving mag copies in Starbucks and Seattle's Best. How I missed Katipunan! When we got back I once again faced the pile of proofs on my desk; my beloved editor didn't go to the office that day for he had a slew of meetings.
That night, Lyka, Yukee and I went to Gweilo's in Eastwood City to watch Naima's gig. My friends Mikel and Pipes were there with their other friends when we got in the bar. The last time I went to a bar was back in college. I missed my Tapika days with Yam and Kimmy and the others... That day was full of college retrospects. Naima was the first band to play, and the three of us got to see their whole set (although I was a bit sad that they didn't perform "Di Bale Na Nga" :p) It was sooo good to finally see Mikel and Pipes after sooo long. I admit, I missed these guys. And I am happy that after everything, we're still friends. Hey, please support them in their gigs! The band's NAIMA, hokie? :)
Oh, Lyka also had a surprise birthday plan for Yukee, the final version of which was to wait for Yukee to get home at around 2 in the morning (coz he had to have his clearance signed where he used to work). We got home from Gweilo's at around past midnight so we had more than two hours to wait, which was worth it for Yukee appreciated what we did.
Another thing, this was the last day of my contract at work! Time passed by so quickly that I didn't realize that I was already in the magazine for six months! Hehe... I think I'm on regular status already...
Wait, this is Thursday morning already, I better move on...
THURSDAY
We slept at around three in themorning, but I had to wake up at 5:30 coz I have to meet up with Sir Andy, Aaron the photog and Patrick, Andy's friend, for a photoshoot in the hills of Antipolo. Each of us had our roles to play; mine was to drive the Nissan Frontier T3 (haha! product placement!) that Sir borrowed. The last time I drove was two years ago, and it was just a sedan.
Up in the hills of Antipolo, I was 'driving' the truck while Aaron was beside me or behind me taking photos of Andy and Patrick. I am sooo grateful that Aaron was a really patient person, for he also acted as my driving instructor that day. As we were approching the really steep part of the hill, I was shifting between primera and segunda (dunno how to call them in English); when we parked somewhere to wait for the two bikers, the rear side of the truck was smoking, and there was a strong smell of burnt rubber. Apparently I overworked the clutch mechanism of the vehicle. Also I had a lot of stalls and dying engine moments, for I have a really hard time making timpla the clutch and the gas.
Bottomline is I survived the day, driving uphill with only less than three hours of sleep. And even though I almost hit a trike full of students when I overtook it, downhill, I got to bring us to where we needed to go. To add insult to the injury, the three guys with me were making fun of my "driving," with my boss imitating how I "drove." Well, I wasn't insulted nor offended; I admit it was really horrible! I am very grateful to the Lord that I am still here, being able to recount that experience.
FRIDAY
After a horrific experience, I decided that I will leave the office early so I can go have at least a 30-minute tutorial for ice skating, since it was one of the tasks. But the proofs prevented me from doing so, so I just lifted it all up to Him.
Since Inja took a birthday leave the day before (it was her birthday also), she and Sir James treated us to lunch this day. It was good, with yummy Pansit Malabon and Lechon Manok and Sansrival ice cream :)
In the afternoon Sir Andy discussed with me his evaluation of me for my 6-month stay so far in the office. I was surprised that he rated me higher than I rated myself, but of course he still pointed out my booboos. Even though it hurts, I accepeted all the observations and his suggestions, for it's all for my betterment din naman. It's always been said that "those who love corrections are blessed" or something to that effect. And I do, coz it shows me the areas that I need to improve on. It also helped that Sir Andy did that in the most "caring" way, na hindi offensive. I am really grateful and blessed to have him for my superior. I couldn't ask for a better boss (Naks naman!)
That night was GenRev Night. I met up with the SS in ECR na coz I needed to finish some more stuff in the office. When I got there there weren't mush people yet but praise God they slowly trickled in and the night was great! Remember the shiny-five-peso-bet I did in one of my previous entries? Well, let's just say I owe Lani four shiny 5-peso coins :p
SATURDAY
Since Lani and Zy slept over the apartment again after GenRev Night, we slept in the early morning once again. Which was not good for this day was the day of my very first adventure race. So sleeping for only three hours (again!) I went to McDo St. Francis to meet up with Crystal and Retzel. I am really grateful that at first meeting we gelled really fast; it helped us during the race. It also helped that Retzel's friends with the organizers, mas fun yung experience.
My failure to train for wallclimbing and ice skating got back to me; the two CPs where those are the challenges required all the team members to do the task. And, unfortunately, I had to skate and wall climb. My ass was really sore the whole weekend for I fell on the ice innumerable times! It was so embarrasing as I was doing those stupid acrobatic stunts just trying to balance myself on the ice that the kids while the kids watching me were gliding gracefully. It was sweet though as they cheer "Go Ate, you can do it," in their adorable high-pitched voices and giving me tips on how to stand up.
Same with wallclimbing. Since my upper body was stronger than my lower body (which is a bad thing) my body gave up just when I was nearing the last stone. Although I was surprised how my legs were able to puch me up to that point I still had to scream and squeal as I try to reach that friggin' last stone. I was also grateful that Crystal and Retzel was ever so patient during those two challenges, for I believe I was the cause of our delay. They were there cheering me to go on. It was also nice of Pe, one of the organizers, to go up the wall and cheered me on from the top. Haha!
After the race Team A&F placed 5th overall. Not bad for a team composed of a pro (Retzel) and well-prepared newbie (Crystal) and a newbie klutz (me). The night before a friend taught about reaching, and overcoming, thresholds. And I believe I overcame mine big time, the physical part that is. The whole afternoon was non-stop running and strategizing, falling flat on my butt, then run again, but it was really fun! I also loved my teammates, and we wish that we get to join another race as a team again :)
SUNDAY
With my body sore and hurting, I once again had to wake up early to take my Law Aptitude Exams (LAE) in UP. I was really nervous a bit coz I haven't studied AT ALL for this, when most others spend a lot in LAE review classes.
So inside Malcolm Theatre I sat and took the exam, which was easier than what I had expected. But I give FULL CREDIT to the Holy Spirit for my confidence in taking the exam. I would have not done it on my own; it was all God's grace, as with all of what I "achieved" this week. It was all Him, and I praise and thank the Lord for his Wisdom and Grace.
After the exam I met up with my family in SM North for our annual Christmas shopping. But since we need to go back before four (and I arrived there at almost one), I just helped my brother do his shopping (who was also waiting for me to, well, do the exact thing). But I was happy with the items my brother and I were able to buy for him; he sooo needed an image change :) After shopping, we heard mass in Barasoian Church, to the delight of Monsignor Flint, and had dinner in our favorite place.
MONDAY
Nothing much happened the whole day, although around 2 PM there was a brownout. We called up Meralco every now and then to ask for the status of the repairwork, and shut us up by explaining the status with whatever jargons the guy on the other end can think of. Anyway, the highlight was a few hours later, when, at 6:30 in the evening there were still no electricity. So we jsut decided to dine out, for it's such a hassle to prepare dinner in the dark. So my dad, my brother and I dressed up while we wait for my mom (who decided to go to the salon for she was bored :p). Just when the three of us were dressed already, the electricity came back. But we were set to eat outside. When the lights were turned, all I saw was orange: while fumbling for something to wear in the dark we didn't notice that all three of us pulled out ORANGE SHIRTS! All we could do was laugh so hard, and my mom was laughing hard as well when she arrived and saw us; thank goodness she was wearing brown, but we were urging her to join us and be our "ka-kosa" :p My dad's explanation for our get-up: it's our way of thanking Meralco for bringing back the electricity in our town :D
So that's my week folks. I'm sorry for the lengthy entry, for so much happened; I only tried to put here the highlights. But of course, if you had an experience such as mine, wouldn't you want to remember it always? Even if it's just for laughs? :D
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Hurray for Indie Christian music
Since the second issue of the mag is nearing its completion, I had time to look for more indie Christian artists... I'm starting to become a junkie here :p
One is Dave Pettigrew. My fave song is "I Will Follow." If you're familiar with Chris Tomlin, Pettigrew's music is like that: alternative/rock-y. Most of his songs are from his prayer time.
Another is Broken Vessels. My fave is "You are God." They're also alternative/rock, but most of their songs are of the praise and worship kind.
There's also the duo Bread of Stone. You can listen to samples of their songs here.
I pray their albums are already available here in the country... if you are thinking of what to give me for Christmas, you know what to get me... wehehehe
Oh yeah, I've uploaded Pettigrew's song, as well as three from Broken Vessels on my site. Check it out!
One is Dave Pettigrew. My fave song is "I Will Follow." If you're familiar with Chris Tomlin, Pettigrew's music is like that: alternative/rock-y. Most of his songs are from his prayer time.
Another is Broken Vessels. My fave is "You are God." They're also alternative/rock, but most of their songs are of the praise and worship kind.
There's also the duo Bread of Stone. You can listen to samples of their songs here.
I pray their albums are already available here in the country... if you are thinking of what to give me for Christmas, you know what to get me... wehehehe
Oh yeah, I've uploaded Pettigrew's song, as well as three from Broken Vessels on my site. Check it out!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
New Discovery
I have heard people talk about him before, and I was like "What's the fuss all about?" But yesterday things changed...
I stumbled upon Paul Wright's page in here and got to listen to a couple of his songs... and my heart melted...
He's definitely in my Christmas wishlist (well, his albums at least :p)
You can check out his official site here
I stumbled upon Paul Wright's page in here and got to listen to a couple of his songs... and my heart melted...
He's definitely in my Christmas wishlist (well, his albums at least :p)
You can check out his official site here
Friday, November 18, 2005
Looking Forward to Next Weekend
Next weekend is pretty jampacked for me. Friday, there will be GenRev Night. I'll say I'll behave like lady this time (to make up for my so-un-lady-like behavior during GenRev Live), but I can bet my shiny 5-peso coin that i won't. The next day I will be joining my first ever urban adventure race, as part of Team A&F. That will be for the whole day. Then early the following morning I will take my UP Law entrance exams. Then right after I'll meet my family in the mall to do some Christmas shopping. I'm just so grateful the Monday is a holiday... :)
Heehee, can't wait!
Heehee, can't wait!
Friday, November 11, 2005
Childhood Memories and Motherly Woes
I was having lunch earlier with my colleagues in the office, Mikey,the youngest son of our COO, dropped by. He has a pedia's appointment in the afternoon and mommy will bring him there.
When he arrived he passed by us, eyes all droopy and gloomy, like he was perenially sleepy, and was dragging his body into the office. When he and his mommy went out to join us for lunch, he was listless. Mommy told us that he has "just cried" for he just had a fight with his yaya. I felt for the poor kid. Then Joy, the assistant here in the office, gave him his Chickenjoy lunch and after a few mouthfuls he was happy again and was making kulit about our company outing tomorrow.
As I was watching that change of temperament due to Chickenjoy, I imagine myself being in my boss' shoes, with a child that changes moods faster than a mood ring. And I'm both scared and excited at the same time.
I never experienced taking care of a child before. When my brother was born my mom hired a yaya because she has to go to work, plus I'm still a tot that time so, obviously, I can't fend for myself yet. Until I grew up I never really held a baby for so long. One, the grown-ups never trusted me; second, I'm afraid I might do something stupid that will put that baby's life in peril. Like the one time my lola asked me to look after one of my baby cousins (I was 11 at the time), I almost dropped him to the floor, which could've been a disaster, not to mention fatal (both for my cousin and me).
I have always said to myself that when I become a mom, I will be a better mom that my own mother. Since I was a really pasaway kid that time, I thought that it would be a good way to spite her, to get back at her for pinching my ears when she caught me eating chocolates in bed when I was 8. Before I used to think that any mom is better than mine, and I am envious of my friends' moms who allow them to go to the mall on their own or play outside. And my dear mama would always tell me that someday all the bad things I did to her would get back to me when I have kids of my own. It's like I'm being cursed or something.
Then I grew up, went through four years in high school, survived four years of college living on my own, and now, so far, surviving six months as part of the work force. Before I know it i'll be going towards the next phase in my life: courtship, then hopefully marriage and family life.
One of the SS' favorite topic of conversation is GB TALKS. Musings on our GBs (God's Best), waiting on the Lord and the prospect of finally meeting that special person that God has set apart just for you. For three girls who have not had boyfriends yet, the thought is quite exciting, but since we're in the Lord, we have learned to actively wait, and not just daydream about that person. Although we all wish that a particular person be our GB, God's thoughts and ways are not the same as ours (right on Isaiah [55:8-9]!).
I can't wait to get to that phase, though at the same time I am quite happy being single :) How long I'll have to wait for that, only God knows. But I believe that when it does happen, it will be the sweetest thing in the whole world.
When he arrived he passed by us, eyes all droopy and gloomy, like he was perenially sleepy, and was dragging his body into the office. When he and his mommy went out to join us for lunch, he was listless. Mommy told us that he has "just cried" for he just had a fight with his yaya. I felt for the poor kid. Then Joy, the assistant here in the office, gave him his Chickenjoy lunch and after a few mouthfuls he was happy again and was making kulit about our company outing tomorrow.
As I was watching that change of temperament due to Chickenjoy, I imagine myself being in my boss' shoes, with a child that changes moods faster than a mood ring. And I'm both scared and excited at the same time.
I never experienced taking care of a child before. When my brother was born my mom hired a yaya because she has to go to work, plus I'm still a tot that time so, obviously, I can't fend for myself yet. Until I grew up I never really held a baby for so long. One, the grown-ups never trusted me; second, I'm afraid I might do something stupid that will put that baby's life in peril. Like the one time my lola asked me to look after one of my baby cousins (I was 11 at the time), I almost dropped him to the floor, which could've been a disaster, not to mention fatal (both for my cousin and me).
I have always said to myself that when I become a mom, I will be a better mom that my own mother. Since I was a really pasaway kid that time, I thought that it would be a good way to spite her, to get back at her for pinching my ears when she caught me eating chocolates in bed when I was 8. Before I used to think that any mom is better than mine, and I am envious of my friends' moms who allow them to go to the mall on their own or play outside. And my dear mama would always tell me that someday all the bad things I did to her would get back to me when I have kids of my own. It's like I'm being cursed or something.
Then I grew up, went through four years in high school, survived four years of college living on my own, and now, so far, surviving six months as part of the work force. Before I know it i'll be going towards the next phase in my life: courtship, then hopefully marriage and family life.
One of the SS' favorite topic of conversation is GB TALKS. Musings on our GBs (God's Best), waiting on the Lord and the prospect of finally meeting that special person that God has set apart just for you. For three girls who have not had boyfriends yet, the thought is quite exciting, but since we're in the Lord, we have learned to actively wait, and not just daydream about that person. Although we all wish that a particular person be our GB, God's thoughts and ways are not the same as ours (right on Isaiah [55:8-9]!).
I can't wait to get to that phase, though at the same time I am quite happy being single :) How long I'll have to wait for that, only God knows. But I believe that when it does happen, it will be the sweetest thing in the whole world.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Run-away Girl
Have you watched the show Fear Factor? Yeah, I'm sure you have seen an episode. The contestants are subjected to challenges that are basically their worst fears (from the most disgusting to the most stomach-churning).
What do you fear the most? What do you fear more: the fear itself or the notion of facing that fear?
I fear a lot of things. I am afraid of riding ships, coz I am afraid of drowning, I am afraid of rats (oh wait, more of disgusted), I am afraid of losing my family, I am afraid of growing old alone, yet I am afraid to make a commitment, coz I am afraid of rejection. I am afraid of uncertainty.
I am no extraordinary case. I bet everyone has the same fears as I have. We only differ in the way we face our fears. How have I managed mine? Very poorly, I must say. I am a very good escape artist, though. When faced with a situtaion with a very uncertain outcome, I run away from it as fast as I can. I don't want to know what will happen if I move forward and face it. Most of the time though I regret my decision of running away because the outcome of the situation, had I faced it, was good.
Case in point: just yesterday I discovered that my wardrobe was turned to termite-ville. Somehow rain water seeped into it and the termites saw access to all my clothes. When I opened my cabinet and lifted a nicely-folded shirt a swarm of termites greeted me. I was so disgusted at it at the same time afraid to see the extent of the damaged so I asked our helper to just stash all the clothes in garbage bags and burn them the next day. I had the cabinet dismantled also, so now I am a wardrobe-less girl. My other clothes that were not yet placed in the cabinet was on my study table as of the moment.
Now this morning my mom and my yaya were rummaging through the clothes to see the extent of the damaged. My yaya suddenly discovered one shirt that I have only worn once! It was a shirt I bought in AMA Mall, with a pawikan (Philippine green turtle) print at the back, in very, very good condition! No holes, no damage at all! She just washed it and it was good as new.
If not for the 'courage' of my mom and my yaya to face the icky termites, they may not have saved that shirt. It may have been a pile of ashes now, together with the other pieces. Now my yaya's trying to salvage more clothes for me.
Hope you got what I was trying to point out (shallow the example may be).
There are bigger things I am afraid of. Especially afraid of rejection. We are all called to share the Good News of our Lord to everyone, yet I am as chicken as Chicken Little. I am afraid that people won't listen to me, won't pay me attention, won't even mind me. For years I have been telling myself that "I can do it, how hard can that be?" and I am still telling myself the same words till now. I also like this guy, but I dare not admit it for fear of what will happen if I do, and what my friends will say if they learned about it.
I have been inspired to write about fear for a few nights I have been receiving a very inspiring message from the Lord. "Take courage," the Lord says. He said that to Daniel in a vision (Daniel 10:19), He also told Paul in prison (Acts 23:11). The angel Gabriel also told Mary "not [to] be afraid, for you have found favor in God" (Luke 1:30, NAB). He has been assuring me not to be afraid, to take courage and be strong. Living in fear, for me, is also living in my comfort zone. I have been so comfortable in my present situation, because my fear of moving forward has allowed me to settle in, like sediments at the bottom of the sea. The Lord has been telling me to get off my ass and do something, but I am so afraid of doing so. Now he's been assuring me to not be afraid and just do whatever He wants me to do.
I hope that you will be assured with these words as well. It is comforting to know that whatever you do there is Someone to catch your back. He even said that "I know well the plans I have in mind for you...plans for your welfare, not your woe! Plans to give you a future of hope." (Jeremiah 29:11 NAB)
Whatever situation you may be in right now, I hope that you take the last verse to heart. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason, but all these happen for our own good (Romans 8:28). Don't lose heart when you're in deep sh*t. You can overcome it, don't be afraid. Remember the story of the Footprints in the Sand?
A friend once told me that he has never seen me depressed, but he has no idea how much I hurt inside when I do. I take assurance in the words I shared above. I may be afraid of facing my fear but I am not afraid that I am alone in what I undergo. I love this verse in Corinthians, when Paul says that "no trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13 NAB)
I have been assured and re-assured. The Lord has done His part, now it's time to do mine. I will not be afraid. I will do whatever He asks me to do, "in Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
What do you fear the most? What do you fear more: the fear itself or the notion of facing that fear?
I fear a lot of things. I am afraid of riding ships, coz I am afraid of drowning, I am afraid of rats (oh wait, more of disgusted), I am afraid of losing my family, I am afraid of growing old alone, yet I am afraid to make a commitment, coz I am afraid of rejection. I am afraid of uncertainty.
I am no extraordinary case. I bet everyone has the same fears as I have. We only differ in the way we face our fears. How have I managed mine? Very poorly, I must say. I am a very good escape artist, though. When faced with a situtaion with a very uncertain outcome, I run away from it as fast as I can. I don't want to know what will happen if I move forward and face it. Most of the time though I regret my decision of running away because the outcome of the situation, had I faced it, was good.
Case in point: just yesterday I discovered that my wardrobe was turned to termite-ville. Somehow rain water seeped into it and the termites saw access to all my clothes. When I opened my cabinet and lifted a nicely-folded shirt a swarm of termites greeted me. I was so disgusted at it at the same time afraid to see the extent of the damaged so I asked our helper to just stash all the clothes in garbage bags and burn them the next day. I had the cabinet dismantled also, so now I am a wardrobe-less girl. My other clothes that were not yet placed in the cabinet was on my study table as of the moment.
Now this morning my mom and my yaya were rummaging through the clothes to see the extent of the damaged. My yaya suddenly discovered one shirt that I have only worn once! It was a shirt I bought in AMA Mall, with a pawikan (Philippine green turtle) print at the back, in very, very good condition! No holes, no damage at all! She just washed it and it was good as new.
If not for the 'courage' of my mom and my yaya to face the icky termites, they may not have saved that shirt. It may have been a pile of ashes now, together with the other pieces. Now my yaya's trying to salvage more clothes for me.
Hope you got what I was trying to point out (shallow the example may be).
There are bigger things I am afraid of. Especially afraid of rejection. We are all called to share the Good News of our Lord to everyone, yet I am as chicken as Chicken Little. I am afraid that people won't listen to me, won't pay me attention, won't even mind me. For years I have been telling myself that "I can do it, how hard can that be?" and I am still telling myself the same words till now. I also like this guy, but I dare not admit it for fear of what will happen if I do, and what my friends will say if they learned about it.
I have been inspired to write about fear for a few nights I have been receiving a very inspiring message from the Lord. "Take courage," the Lord says. He said that to Daniel in a vision (Daniel 10:19), He also told Paul in prison (Acts 23:11). The angel Gabriel also told Mary "not [to] be afraid, for you have found favor in God" (Luke 1:30, NAB). He has been assuring me not to be afraid, to take courage and be strong. Living in fear, for me, is also living in my comfort zone. I have been so comfortable in my present situation, because my fear of moving forward has allowed me to settle in, like sediments at the bottom of the sea. The Lord has been telling me to get off my ass and do something, but I am so afraid of doing so. Now he's been assuring me to not be afraid and just do whatever He wants me to do.
I hope that you will be assured with these words as well. It is comforting to know that whatever you do there is Someone to catch your back. He even said that "I know well the plans I have in mind for you...plans for your welfare, not your woe! Plans to give you a future of hope." (Jeremiah 29:11 NAB)
Whatever situation you may be in right now, I hope that you take the last verse to heart. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason, but all these happen for our own good (Romans 8:28). Don't lose heart when you're in deep sh*t. You can overcome it, don't be afraid. Remember the story of the Footprints in the Sand?
A friend once told me that he has never seen me depressed, but he has no idea how much I hurt inside when I do. I take assurance in the words I shared above. I may be afraid of facing my fear but I am not afraid that I am alone in what I undergo. I love this verse in Corinthians, when Paul says that "no trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13 NAB)
I have been assured and re-assured. The Lord has done His part, now it's time to do mine. I will not be afraid. I will do whatever He asks me to do, "in Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)
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